The Drug Problem in America

The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, ''Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?''

I replied: I had a drug problem when I was young:
I was drug to church on Sunday morning.





I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.





I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.





I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.





I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did
not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.






I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profane four-letter word.





I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields.







I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood;







and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.





Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.

~author unknown~

SINGLE WOMAN's PRAYER

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, that's not a creep.
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
He's not afraid to admit when he's wrong.
One who thinks before he speaks.
When he promises to call, he doesn't
wait 6 weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed.
Won't lose his cool when he's annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Knows what to say when I ask:
"How fat is my behind."

One who'll make love til my body's a'itchin'.
He brings ME a sandwich too when he's
in the kitchen.

I pray that this man will love me to no end.
And would never compare me to my best friend.

Thank You in advance and now I'll just wait,
for I know You will send him
before it's too late.

Amen.

(unknown author)

A Little Kindness From Person to Person

"A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind."
–Robert Dehmel

Norm's Greetings on Cheers

A friend passed these to me today. They are great!!!
Have you ever wished you could remember Norm's greetings on Cheers?

1. "What's shaking Norm?"
"All four cheeks & a couple of chins."

2. "What's new Normie?"
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're
demanding beer."

3. "What would you like Normie?"
"A reason to live. Give me another beer."


4. "What'll you have Normie?"
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of
whatever comes out of that tap."
"Looks like beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky."


5. "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a diaper."


6. "What's the story Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bobsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the ending."


7. "Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
"I know, if she calls, I'm not here."


8. "Beer, Norm?"
"Have I gotten that predictable? Good."


9. "What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"


10. "Whatcha up to Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."


11. "How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor"
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."

12. "How's life treating you Norm?"
"Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."


13. "Women. Can't live with 'em....pass the beer nuts."


14. "What's going down, Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."


15. "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"All right, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty."


16. "How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone
underwear."


17. "What's the story Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."


18. "What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
"The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please,
Woody."


19. "Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid questions."

Prayer, both personal and liturgical, is The Duty of Every Christian

Prayer, both personal and liturgical, is the duty of every Christian. Jesus Christ, the Good News of the Father, warns us that "without him we can do nothing" (John 15:5). He Himself, in the decisive moments of his life, before doing something, used to withdraw to an isolated place to give himself to prayer and contemplation, and he asked the Apostles to do the same.

--Pope John Paul II

RESOURCE: Presidential Prayer Team

Our Ultimate Freedom

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or
anything outside ourselves will affect us."
-- Stephen Covey

Love Truth

Love truth, but pardon error.

-Voltaire

Why Did God Make Mothers?

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice
in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2 . God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

Tokens of Friendship

LIFESAVER:
A reminder of the times we need others' help and when they need ours.

COTTON BALL:
To cushion the rough roads, a symbol of support from family and friends.

RUBBER BAND:
For flexibility to remind you that our friendship will stretch over miles
and through the years.

SWEET AND SOUR CANDY:
A reminder to appreciate the differences in others.

A HUG AND A KISS:
A reminder that we all need hugs and kisses.

CANDLE:
A reminder to share your light with others.

BAND-AID:
For healing hurt feelings-yours and others.

ERASER:
A reminder that every day you can start over with a clean slate.

TOOTHPICK:
To pick out the good in everyone, including yourself.

BUTTON:
To button your lips when you have nothing good to say.

GOLDEN THREAD:
To tie the hearts together in friendship.

GUM:
A reminder that friends stick together through good and bad times.

ROCK:
To remind you of the durability of our friendship.

MINT:
To remember that You are worth a mint as my friend.

Lord, I Believe; Help My Unbelief

"Lord, I believe; help my unbelief" is the most natural and most human and most agonizing prayer in the gospels, and I think it is the foundation prayer of faith.


-Flannery O'Connor

RESOURCE: Beliefnet Daily Christian Wisdom

Should You Shield the Canyons From the Windstorms

"Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms, you would not see the beauty of their carvings."

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
1926-2004, Psychiatrist and Author

RESOURCE: Beliefnet

If You Want Others to be Happy, Practice Compassion

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

-Dalai Lama

A Peaceful Sorrow at Home is Best I'll Be Able to Offer

A peaceful sorrow at home is best I’ll ever be able to offer the world, in the end, and so I told my Desolation Angels goodbye. A new life for me.

- Jack Kerouac


RESOURCE: Beliefnet

The School of Christ is the School of Love

The school of Christ is the school of love. In the last day, when the general examination takes place...Love will be the whole syllabus.

-St. Robert Bellarmine

RESOURCE: Beliefnet

The Whole Purpose of Religion is to Facilitate Love and Compassion...

The whole purpose of religion is to facilitate love and compassion, patience, tolerance, humility, and forgiveness.

--The Dalai Lama

RESOURCE: Guidance for Body, Mind & Spirit

We Are Not Here to be Successful

We are not here to be successful. We are here to be faithful.

-Mother Teresa

RESOURCE: Beliefnet

You Will Become as Small as Your Controlling Desire

"You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration."

James Allen
1864-1912, Author of As A Man Thinketh

RESOURCE: Insights of the Day

Have a Heart That Never Hardens

"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts."

-- Charles Dickens (1812 - 1870)

RESOURCE: Heart Quotes

A Beautiful Death is For People

A beautiful death is for people who have lived like animals to die like angels.

- Mother Teresa

RESOURCE: Beliefnet